By The Light of the Moon
by Ridgley Warfield
Summary: Isolation causes despair, but in the case of Professor Remus Lupin there is a ray of hope where he least expected to find it. **NON SLASH**
1. How to Kill A Werewolf

The night sky was black as coal, dotted with pinpoints of twinkling white.  A chilled winter wind spilled in through the open window in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, rustling a stack of papers on the old clerk-style desk.  Remus J. Lupin shivered involuntarily from the breeze and yawned, stretching his arms high in the air.  He scratched his head, tousling his shaggy dirty blonde, almost brown, graying hair.  Gods he hated the fact that fellow Professor, Severus Snape, had assigned his classes to compose essays.  Remus frowned and sighed forlornly.  Severus wouldn't have assigned the essays if he'd not been asked to take over the DADA classes while Remus was, how did Headmaster Dumbledore put it?, "indisposed."

Shaking his head and removing his large-lens reading glasses, Lupin rubbed the bridge of his nose and picked up the first essay on the top of the pile.  _How to Kill A Werewolf._  How indeed.  Remus tossed the paper aside, knowing the assignment had been to get under his skin.  Severus was clever that way, but then again, Severus was a pompous bastard who stopped at nothing to make everyone around him feel worthless.  _No,_ Lupin thought with a thoughtful sigh. _That's not entirely accurate._ Snape was a bastard but making people feel worthless came naturally to the man, he needn't try.

Remus pushed back from the desk, shaking down the leg of his trousers, and walked over to the window.  He was glad the full moon had passed for the month, at least for the next few weeks he could feel almost human…almost.  _Lycanthropy_, he thought with a sigh, _the worst malady to be affected with_.  Since boyhood, Remus had lived with this disorder.  While other boys transformed into young men, Lupin transformed into a Werewolf every full moon.

His life had always been lonely, never knowing love the way it should be, his only living friend was an escaped convict, who he hadn't seen in nearly 15 years.  True, most of the staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was kind to him, but he figured it was mostly out of fear that he would eat them if they were rude.  Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was the only exception to that line of thinking.  He had known Remus most of the younger man's life, and accepted his duel existence.  Lupin had always been able to confide in Albus and knew that, if nothing else, the older wizard was on his side.

And then there was Severus.  Since their days as students at Hogwarts, Lupin and Snape had been enemies.  Snape was a Slytherin who, to no end, taunted Remus and his friends. If it wasn't vocal banter, it was pranks, curses and hexes.  The Marauders, as Remus and his friends called themselves, did in fact deserve the slander, however.  They themselves had made Snape's life a living hell since the first day at the school, but what had been boyish pranks had turned into a bitter grudge for the dark haired Potions Master.

One of the Marauder's, Sirius Black, had talked Snape into a very foolish trick after learning the boy had spied on them to find out why Remus disappeared every month.  If it hadn't been for James Potter, the leader of the Marauder's, Snape would have surely been killed.

Since that day, Severus had never treated Remus the same.  He no longer taunted the group, but it was clear that he deeply despised the four friends.  When Remus had been asked to take the position of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Severus had openly opposed the offer.  It was with less than open arms that he welcomed Lupin to the staff as well.    The Potions Master had bit his tongue when Headmaster Dumbledore had asked him to prepare Wolfsbane Potion for Remus every month, but had grudgingly agreed to do so. 

Though Remus had put the days of his youth in the past, it was clear that Snape would never get over his bitter grudge.

"Well, well, well," a silken masculine voice whispered daringly from the doorway.  Remus didn't have to look to know who the caller was.  "I see all is back to normal."

"Good evening, Severus." Lupin's tone was neutral, withholding his usual cheeriness from lack of sleep.

"Is it?" Snape slithered into the room with a poise and grace that both had a purpose and was meandering.  He hovered over the desk, idly thumbing through the stack of essays.  "It's a shame the 3rd years are so behind in this subject.  Not one of them was properly instructed on the difference between a werewolf and a true wolf."

"It's been my understanding that the instructors prior to me where less than satisfactory, I don't see how I can be held responsible for any material they had not covered yet." Remus returned icily, facing the Potions Master.

Snape arched an eyebrow at the rebuttal as a malicious grin shadowed his slender face.  "Tsk, tsk, Lupin, don't go blaming yourself.  It's not your fault your not experienced enough to handle this particular subject."

Remus glowered at the belittling tone in Snape's bitter voice, but did not oblige the other man with a retort.  Snape hesitated, seeming to wait for a comeback, and when it did not come, he frowned deeply, his brow creasing in a disappointed scowl.  "The year has only just begun, Lupin.  Perhaps you will grow a brain and be able to teach these idiots something useful.  If not, it will be another wasted year for them, and I will no doubt... _no doub_t…have to properly instruct them."

Severus stalked away from the desk, gliding towards the door for his exit when Lupin spoke up.  "Thanks for the pep talk, Severus.  Coming from you, that was almost encouragement."  The Potions Master paused brief enough to hear the last comment before tensing himself in anger and retreating from the room.

Lupin half smiled at his ability to ruffle the other man, then closed the window, extinguished the candles lighting the room, and headed to the Great Hall for the evening meal.


	2. Grudges

Remus tossed and turned in the overstuffed double bed, unable to find a comfortable position.  With an agitated sigh, he looked at the clock   It was well into the night and he knew that sleep was far from him.  Donning his brown trousers and a gray pullover sweater, Remus decided to walk the grounds.  Looking out the window, however, he saw a fine sheet of rain pouring down outside.  

"Wonderful, the one night I can go out normally and it rains." He scoffed to the empty room.  Still determined to walk, Remus settled for the corridors and soon found himself wandering down empty hallways.  It was quiet and dark, but somehow he'd grown comfortable to living in darkness.  _Terrific_, Remus mused.  _I'm becoming more like Severus every day._

Thinking of the Potions Master made Lupin curious to see if the other man was awake.  Thought he didn't expect the sinister man to engage in idle conversation, it would be other life. 

Walking down the dungeon steps, he was half pleased to see the classroom lights burning.  Making his way to the open door, he paused to watch Snape brew a potion.  The dark haired man seemed almost bored with the task and jumped slightly when Remus rapped on the door.

"The moon isn't full tonight, Lupin, what are you doing here?"

"Good to see you too, Severus. I couldn't sleep and figured you would probably be awake as well."  Remus stated plainly as he seated himself at one of the tables, resting his folded hands on the worn wooden surface.

"Well, congratulations on your newly acquired psychic abilities, but if you please, I am in no mood to entertain." Severus' tone was nothing less than a dismissal, but Remus simply sat, looking at the other man.

"Is it the fact that you have no respect for anyone that you absolutely despise me?"  Severus scowled at the other man from under the curtain of greasy black hair, still stirring in ingredients.  "Come on, Severus.  Can you not see that I'm no longer the idiot boy from our youth?  We've grown up, Sev, we're adults now.  Can't you get over the grudge—"

"Professor Lupin, I realize that we have both 'grown up' but you are still as arrogant as you always were.  Did you ever stop to think that maybe I'm a pariah by choice?  In case you haven't noticed, I don't make it a point to pop off and chat with any of the professors here.  I like my solitude; it is the only thing that keeps me sane in this wretched place.  Now, if you _please_."

Remus blinked, unsure how to form his rebuttal, but finally resolved to keep quiet.  "Very well, Severus.  I shall not seek you out again unless I require your assistance.  Good night to you."

Snape watched the other man leave, knowing that Lupin would keep to his word about not seeking him out again.  That avowal both relieved and saddened him.  True, Severus was a recluse by choice, but only because he felt so different than his caste.  He had never had a genuine friend and felt too old to seek that kind of companionship now.  He had already given up on all hopes of love, why not the possibility of a true friend as well?  It was a lonely life, but then Snape didn't deserve the luxury of anything better.

Withdrawing into the shell of a broken down, bitter man, Severus focused again on the potion, determined not to think about the could have beens of life.

The days had started to become long and lonely for Remus Lupin.  Besides the students in his classes, it seemed that everyone was avoiding him.  When he would enter the staff room, others would find some excuse to leave.  Severus was the only person who would stubbornly stay, ignoring Lupin all together by keeping his hooked nose in a book.

_I can't take much more of this._ Remus thought dejectedly, looking out the window in the DADA classroom.  Classes were over for the day and students were wondering the grounds outside.  Remus would have given anything to be their age again, lounging lazily in the sun with James, Sirius and Peter.  A small smile flitted across his face as his mind wandered back some 20 odd years…

"Come on, Moony!" A young shaggy black haired boy was calling from the middle of a lake.

"Yeah, Remus, the water's great!" Joined in another skinny boy with messy brown hair.

"I thought I was supposed to keep watch, Prongs!" Remus had called back from the shoreline.  The boys had gotten together one summer day away from Hogwarts and trespassed on someone's private land that held a small lake.

"Let Wormtail look out for a while," James Potter responded, splashing water at Peter Pettigrew.  Peter and Remus traded posts and Remus spent the afternoon water fighting with his best friends.

"Lupin," Remus jumped, shaken from his reverie and turned to see Snape standing just inside the doorway.  "If I could trouble you a moment, I need assistance with a potion I am brewing."  Remus nodded, following the taller man down to the dungeons wordlessly.

"I need you to prepare a few ingredients while I start the potion.  Timing is of the utmost importance with this particular brew."

"What is it?" Remus asked, looking at the squid tentacles, frog legs, asphodel and unicorn hooves.

"It's a potion Poppy needs for the Hospital Wing.  It helps to cure upset stomachs of all things." Snape said as if annoyed with the task.

Remus nodded, cutting up the ingredients according to a recipe scribbled out by Snape.  He said nothing more and for nearly an hour the only sound was the bubbling of the contents in the cauldron. 

"I thought about what you said the other night," Severus said in a barely audible whisper, looking at something on the floor between his feet.  Remus looked up from where he was seated, a curious expression on his face.

"I suppose that my lack of social skills is the reason I like to keep to myself." Snape looked into the cauldron, stirring it once, then seated himself in front of Remus on the opposite side of the table.  "It's no secret that I am not liked, Lupin.  I dealt with that as a child as well and have become…accustomed to being shunned."

"Severus, you don't have to explain your reasons to me.  I understand that you desire privacy."

"Let me finish, Lupin, I do not so openly share my thoughts often."  Remus nodded and Severus adverted his eyes.  "Perhaps you were part right about holding a grudge, but it would be unfair to place that grudge on your shoulders.  That honour goes to none other to Sirius Black."

Remus held back a laugh, looking at Severus with an amused expression.  "Padfoot? Dare I ask why?"

Snape scowled at Remus briefly.  "Many reasons, but mainly because he was the one who had tried to kill me.  That man is mentally unstable and it served him right to be locked up in Azkaban."

"Oh come on, Severus, it was just a prank.  A dangerous one, but a prank nonetheless."

"It may have been a prank to you, but it nearly cost me my life." The two were silent for a long moment. Severus was staring off to the side with a look of pure hatred on his face and Remus fiddled with his chopping utensil.

"I cannot speak for Sirius, but I can say that I am sincerely sorry about what happened.  Sirius should have never put you in that position.  But you must admit, Severus, your curiosity is also to blame.  If I recall correctly, you spied on us to no end."

"Only because you four got away with damn near everything.  It was no secret that the professors always showed favoritism to you and the rest of the bloody Gryffindors, and continue to do so to this day!"

"Is that why you despise Gryffindor?" Remus laughed, finally seeing a glimpse into the dark man's mind.  "What about the favoritism to your own house, Severus?  You praise them to no end and award points like their going out of style."

Severus narrowed his obsidian eyes and looked straight into the gray-green depths of Lupin's, silencing the other man.  "If I don't watch out for them, who will?  Not all the students in Slytherin delve into the Dark Arts, despite the rumors that have gone around for ages.  Some of them are very bright, but because they were sorted into Slytherin, no one will acknowledge that fact." When Remus said nothing in return, Severus pushed back from the table and began to stir the potion again.

"Tomorrow I shall begin brewing your Wolfsbane Potion.  It should be ready in plenty of time for your transformation."

"Thank you, Severus.  Will you be taking over my classes again?"

"As far as I know, yes."

"Just do me a favor, Severus," Remus waited until the dark-haired man looked him in the eye.  "Don't make my students write another essay.  I'd rather not have to grade them."

Snape opened his mouth to respond, but Lupin just waved him off with a laugh.  "Good night, Severus!"

"Good night, Lupin." He called after the other man, picking up the next prepared ingredient from the table and mixing it into the cauldron.


End file.
